In no way shape or form do these jokes express the views of Humor Playground.
They are only meant for your personal enjoyment.
What do you call a black boy with a bicycle?
Thief!
What do you get when you bury a thousand blacks up to their necks?
Afroturf.
Did you hear about the new black French restaurant?
Chez What?
What did Lincoln say after his five-day drunk?
"I freed who?"
What's tattooed on the inside of every Negro's lip?
Inflate to 50 psi.
What do you call a black Frenchman?
Jacques Custodian.
Did you hear about the black kid who got diarrhea?
He thought he was melting.
What has six legs and goes "Ho-de-do, ho-de-do, ho-de-do?"
Three blacks running for the elevator.
Why are blacks so good at basketball?
Because they can steal, shoot, and run!
What do you get when you cross a black and a groundhog?
Six more weeks of basketball season.
How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black?
Ever try to take a rib from a black man?
What's black and white and goes rolling along the boardwalk?
A black and a pigeon fighting over a chicken wing.
Why are the palms of black people's hands white?
Because they were all leaned up against cop cars when God
spray-painted.
Why do blacks wear white gloves?
So they don't bite off the ends of their fingers when they're eating
Tootsie Rolls.
Do you know why so many blacks were killed in Vietnam?
Because every time the sergeant said "Get down," they stood up and
started dancing.
Did you hear the Harlem High school cheer?
Barbecue, watermelon, Cadillac car
We're not as dumb as you think we is!
Why do blacks wear high heels?
So their knuckles don't scrape the ground.
Why do blacks wear wide brimmed hats?
So pigeons don't shit on their lips.
What's the new Webster's definition of the word "confusion?"
Father's Day in Harlem.
What's the new definition of "worthless?"
A 7 foot 2 inch black with a small cock who can't play basketball.
How do you keep little black kids from jumping up and down on the bed?
Put Velcro on the ceiling.
How do you get them down?
Invite some Mexican kids over and tell them it's a pinata party.
This black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his
shoulder.
"Wow!" says the bartender. "That is really something.
Where'd you get it?"
"Africa," says the parrot.
It was the new term at Princeton, and a black freshman was learning
his way around the campus. Stopping a distinguished-looking upperclassman,
he inquired, "Say, can you tell me where the library is at?"
"My good fellow," came the reply, "at Princeton we do not end our
sentences with a preposition."
"All right," said the freshman, "can you tell me where the library
is at, asshole?"
A black guy knew he had it made when the old brass bottle he found
in the backyard turned out to have a genie in it. Any three wishes he had
would be granted, the genie informed him.
"I wanna be rich," said the black man. The backyard filled up
with chests of gold coins and jewels in the blinking of an eye.
"I'm no fool," said the black. "I wanna be white." And
there he stood, white, blond-haired and blue-eyed.
"Thirdly, I never want to work another day in my life."
And he was black again.
An old Southern planter goes into the hospital and is informed by
the doctor that his condition is pretty serious. In fact, he's going to
require a heart transplant.
"Well, doctor," drawls the planter, "you'd best get on with it.
But whatever you do, just don't give me the heart of a n**ger."
When he comes out of the anesthetic, the doctor is leaning over his
bedside anxiously. "Cal," he says, "I got some good news and some bad
news. I had to use a n**ger's heart."
Cal pales.
"But the good news is: your dick is three inches longer."
Three people die at the same moment and arrive at the gates of
heaven at the same time. St. Peter greets them warmly and asks the first,
"And what did you die of, may I ask?"
"The Big H," says the fellow, a florid, overweight type.
"Ah yes," nodded St. Peter, "the number one killer of men your age.
Please step this way."
The second person, a withered old man, attributes his death to "the
Big C."
"So sorry to hear it," murmurs St. Peter. "This way, please."
And to the next person in line he asks, "Cause of death?"
The big black woman says, "De big G."
"What in heavens name is 'the Big G'?"
"Dat's gonorrhea," she answers."
"Madam," says St. Peter stiffly, "one does not die of gonorrhea."
"You do if you gives it to Big Leroy."
A crowd gathered on a Harlem sidewalk where a white guy was jumping
up and down on a manhole cover energetically, shouting, "Twenty-eight!
Twenty-eight!" Finally one big black guy was unable to restrain his
curiosity. "What you doin' dat fo'?" he roughly questioned the jumper.
"Listen, it really makes you feel great. You wouldn't believe
how it relieves tension; cools you off. Why don't you try it for
yourself?"
So, somewhat suspiciously, the big black guy started jumping up and
down on the manhole cover. Just as he was getting into a rhythm, the white
guy pulled the cover out from underneath him, and the black tumbled down the
hole.
Cheerfully replacing the cover, the guy started jumping up and down
again, shouting, "Twenty-nine! Twenty-nine!"
Two black garbage men in Atlanta were going about their rounds and
came to the end of their route with the garbage truck absolutely full and with
one bag of garbage still sitting on the sidewalk. Being conscientious
workers, they were reluctant to leave it, but the truck would not hold another
ounce.
"Tell you what, Joe," said Sam. "You drive real slowly, and
I'll hang on to the back of the truck holding that last bag with my body.
We ain't got too far to go."
That was fine with Joe, and so he drove the truck off with Sam
clinging, spread eagled to the back of the truck.
They rounded the corner and passed by two Southern gentlemen, who
looked at the back end of the truck with considerable surprise. "Can you
believe your eyes?" asked his companion. "They're throwing away a
perfectly good n**ger."
A con man came into a small-town saloon, sidled up to the bar, and
told the bartender he'd bet him $50 he could have him in tears in three minutes.
"You got a deal!" said the bartender. "I haven't cried since I broke my
ankle when I was ten."
So two and a half minutes went by in silence, and finally the
bartender said, "You know, you only have thirty seconds left and I'm nowhere
near tears."
"No problem," said the con man. "My friend Boo will be along
any moment, and he'll have you bawling in no time."
"Boo who?" asked the bartender, and then sheepishly handed over the
fifty bucks.
The con man proceeded down the bar to where a black guy was nursing
a beer, and made him the same offer. "Man, ah ain' cried since ah was a
baby," said the black guy. "You on!"
A minute, two minutes ticked by, and the black guy spoke up,
pointing out that time was running short. "Don't you worry," said the con
man, "my friend Boo is due right about now and you're going to weep."
"Who be Boo?" asked the black guy.
How do you get a black down from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What did God say after making the second black person?
"Shit, I burnt another one!"
Two blacks are in the back of a car; who's driving?
The cops.
What do you say when the lights are off and your television is floating?
"Drop my TV, n**ger!"
BiGbAlLeR12569
What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
Khura
What is long and black?
The unemployment line.
Rick
sponsored by
