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In no way shape or form do these jokes express the views of Humor Playground.  They are only meant for your personal enjoyment.

Did you hear about the Polish lesbian?
            She likes men.

What do you call a Jewish homosexual?
            He-blew.
What do you call an Irish homosexual?
            Gay-lick.

How do you fit four gays at a crowded bar?
            Turn the stool upside down.

What did one lesbian say to another?
            "Your face or mine?"

            An obviously gay guy swished onto a bus to face a derogatory sneer from the massive bus driver.  "Faggot," he growled, "where're your pearls?"
            "Pearls with corduroy!" shrieked the gay.  "Are you mad?"

How many gays does it take to change a light bulb?
            Seven.  One to change the bulb, and six to shriek, "Faaaaabulous!"

Considering that in order to get married, you have to have a marriage license, what do two lesbians have to get?
            A licker license.

What do you call a gay milkman?
            A Dairy Queen.

Why was the homosexual fired from his job at the sperm bank?
            For drinking on the job.

            A gay riding along the subway saw a good-looking man sitting opposite him and was instantly smitten.  Following him out of the station, he trailed him into an office building and up to an office.  What luck!  The man was a proctologist, and he signed up for an appointment.  But when the examination progressed, the gay's squeals of evident pleasure infuriated the doctor.  His job was to cure illnesses, not to titillate, and making that perfectly clear, he tossed the gay guy out.
            The gay, however, was really in love and soon telephoned the doctor's office again, claiming a genuine medical problem and insisting on his services.  The doctor reluctantly consented to another office visit.  Examining the man, he was astonished to fine a long green stem, thorns attached, and then another, then another.
            "My God," the doctor cried, "you've got a dozen red roses up your ass!  Now I warned you, I'm a reputable doctor. Are you up to the same old tricks again?"
            "Read the card," gasped the gay, "read the card!"

            There are these two gay guys who decide they want to have a baby.  So they find an obliging lesbian, have her impregnated by sperm donation, and are simply thrilled when she gives birth to a seven-pound baby boy.  They rush to the hospital for the first viewing of their son, standing with their noses pressed against the glass of the nursery window and surveying row upon row of squalling infants.  Except for one quiet, clean little baby, cooing softly to itself amid all the chaos.
            Sure enough, when the gays ask to see their son, the nurse heads for the quiet baby and brings him over for the proud parents to ogle.
            "Gee," said one of them to the nurse, "he sure is well behaved compared to the rest of those howling brats, isn't he?"
            "Oh, he's quiet now," said the nurse, "but he squalls like all the rest when I take the pacifier out of his ass."

            Two gay guys, Larry and Phil, were driving down the highway when they were rear-ended by a huge semi.  Somewhat shaken, they maneuvered over to the side of the road, where Phil instructed Larry to get out and confront the truck driver.  "Tell him we're going to sue, sue, sue!" he shrieked.
            Obligingly Larry got out and went around to the cab of the truck to deliver this message to the huge, burly driver, whose response was to snarl, "Ah, why don't ya suck my cock."
            "Phil," said Larry coming back to their car, "I think we're going to be able to settle out of court."

What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?
            A Klondike.

What do you get when you cross a gay Eskimo with a black?
            A snow blower that doesn't work.

            This guy is taking a leak in a public men's room when a man enters with his arms held out from his sides, bent at the elbows with his hands dangling awkwardly, and comes over to him.  "Would you do me a favor and unzip my fly?" he asks.
            Figuring the man to be a poor cripple, perhaps an accident victim, the guy obliges, not without a flush of embarrassment when the man next requests that he take out his prick and hold it in the appropriate position.
            "Shake it off!" is the next instruction, then "zip me up," and the guy follows orders, wincing at his own embarrassment and at the shame of being so helpless.
            "Thanks a lot," says the man, flouncing to the door.  "I guess my nails are dry now."

What's the definition of confusion?
            Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.

What's the definition of a Bloody Mary?
            A wounded faggot.

What do you call a lesbian opera singer?
            A muff diva.

How can you tell when your roommate's gay?
            When his cock tastes like shit.

Is it better to be black or gay?
            Black, because you don't have to tell your parents.

How can you tell if you walk into a gay church?
            Only half the congregation is kneeling.

Did you hear about the queer burglar?
            He couldn't blow the safe, so he went down on the elevator.

Why do gay men have mustaches?
            To hide the stretch marks.

            Herbie had always done well in school and was doing even better in college, so his parents were a bit surprised to be summoned by the guidance counselor.
            "I have some good news and some bad news, Mr. and Mrs. Robinson," said the counselor.  "The bad news is that Herbie is gay."
            Herbie's parents blanched.
            "The good news is that he's going to be Homecoming Queen."