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In no way shape or form do these jokes express the views of Humor Playground.  They are only meant for your personal enjoyment.

How did Helen Keller discover masturbation?
            Trying to read her own lips.

How did Helen Keller burn her fingers?
            Reading the waffle iron.

How did Helen Keller's mother punish her?
            By rearranging the living-room furniture.

How did Helen Keller meet her husband?
            It was a blind date.

Why were Helen Keller's fingers purple?
            She heard it through the grapevine.

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?
            She screamed her hands off.

Did you hear about the Helen Keller doll?
            Wind it up and it walks into walls.

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
            So she can moan with the other.

Why did Helen Keller's dog jump off a cliff?
            You would too if your name was Ugggrrrgggh.

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
            Her dog was blind, too.

How did Helen Keller burn her ear?
            Answering the iron.

What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her for swearing?
            Washed her hands with soap.

Did you hear about Helen Keller's new book?
            Around the Block in Eighty Days.

How does Helen Keller drive?
            With one hand on the wheel and one hand on the road.

What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
            Corduroy.